Four Sound Lessons Of Business (very funny and true)
Hope you find them funny too. Smile a little, laugh a little and realize they are all true.
Lesson Number One:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit
saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
The top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I just don't have the
energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung
and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first
branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree and had it for dinner.
Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number Three:
When the body was first made, the various parts each wanted to be the
Boss.
The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's
responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain.
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the ass hole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the ass hole being the Boss. So the ass hole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the ass hole should be the Boss, so
the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the ••••!
Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any ass hole
will do.
Lesson Number Four:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the
bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the dying bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops •••• on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of the •••• you're in is your friend.
3) And when you are in deep ••••, keep your mouth shut!
These valuable lessons will help you get ahead in today's highly competitive work environment!
(•••• == s.h.i.t.)
Ah Siu,
There is a auto function in Discus to censor out some foul language (of course in English only).
Ah Siu,
I enjoy Your story a lot, cause I like to behave as animals.
Being the rabit, I might think myself a delicious
prey. As the cow, I might think that if an elephant can joy me in the top is much interesting than just a rabit, and want to know other animal's methods if they can make it.
However, if the rabit did not show up, he might worried about how to go back back down the gound.
Since it is not normal for a cow to sit comfortable on the top of the tree.
Happy cows can only find together with other cows eating the smae kind of grass.
Siu, I do not enjoy much with the sh-t here, cause i wake up at 7a.m. and fixed all the dirty pipes of my house. It is so nice to breath in fresh air of the dawn. Try sleep early, wake up early,and find ourselves much much more productive.
bye bye , MERRY X'MAS